hello world hope you’re listening.forgive me if im young.
i’ve been thinking about you a lot,crush. look how cute you are.i love you.i wish i can tell how you feel about me.i wish you like me back.i wish we could be together like this close.i dont mind if we’re not right now but i’m loving every moment i get to spend with you.your cute smile..your bubbly face your everything. you’re too good for me.well..almost.
i cant stop thinking about or wondering where you are.but i keep getting distracted by feeling annoyed with the people that i hate.
oh gosh.i cant believe that sucker really think she’s good at it.oh fuck. this is all because i hate her. and im a bad person for hating.
oh crush,when will you come up to me at 2 am and say
"hey..i want to tell you something. i kinda like you a lot. i love you."
poof! magic! i love you,crush.please love me back (woah creeper much?)
i just need to focus on being happy and what feels right.forget about miss vivian and what she does.she doesnt know a shit about my future. and forget rasta and liza and all those interviewers.
i will make it someday. i will be who i want to be.
fuck arggh i hate you fucking bastards
i hate everyone. i hate the people in my class.
i hate how they think they are much better than anyone else. oh come on. immature please
i hate how i’m being treated and i hate them form now on.just because i’ve always been nice and polite with you all this while doesnt mean that you can be a fucking prick and full of ignorance.you piece of shit fuck you go to hell
i wont smile to you guys anymore unless i feel like doing it
i wont consider you people as my friends anymore. you all fake double standard motherfuckers
but her…is the only exception. i still like her eventhough she’s part of the group. but she doesnt treat me like they did.
so she’s still the joy of my heart.blehhh
now i’m speechless over the edge im just breathless
i never thought that i’d catch this lovebug again
oh god.i am so in love with her all over again!
i want her to want me.
i want her to come up to me everyday
i want her to need me.
oh gosh im inlove with you all over again.for some time,i’ve forgotten about you..i can try to live without thinking about you
but you’re there.you’re just there.and this feeling is consuming me and i get butterflies.
i like you too much. i cant forget that feeling. i just want you to like me back.
i just want to wake up ANYTIME I WANT.roll in bed just as long as i like.
then make beautiful clothes.get never ending money. go shopping.treat everyone. go to gigs and eat the foods i love.
make videos.make great films and win oscars.
i’m so nervous.today,i’ll be going back to my boarding school after the two weeks holiday.
i’m not feeling very good.i hate school. its a nightmare. i cant wait to finish school and dont have to think about it anymore.
i coulndt sleep last night.lots of things ran through my head. ghost stories. creepy dolls. then i thought about school. fuck.i want to cry.
this is so torturing. i hate school so much. i’m so jealous of my sister who has no worries about anything.she’s 23 and is a freelance wedding photographer.and she doesnt have to care about school,money or responsibilities because she’s basically still living with us.and enjoying it.she get new clothes all the time and she HAS NO WORRIES!!
the time has come.i dont want to imagine whats going to happen for the upcoming week.whatever. i really cant wait to finish school.
i watched My Mad Fat Diary.i love Rae.i love Finn.I’m jealous of Rae.Okay,whatever.i should stop.
my life is boring.bye.
things i want right now:
- a space of my own!
like,my own bedroom and a studio so i can do my work peacefully and i can stack all of my work stuff in there.i know i should not be complaining but sharing bedroom since i can remember,13 maybe i know its not big deal.but oooh how much i want a room of my own.or at least a room where i can do my work in it.A personalize room for one! me
i found so many bedrooms that i like on google image/tumblr and i ust want to mash up all of them and for sure there are going to be cameos of my favorite bands.wink wink.
Melon lady bedroom was an inspiration! i love her room.
- i want to focus on what i love.
okay,i love…….*deep thinking*…..anything artistic (blehh so corny). i love making clothes.i do love sewing.i love fashion.i love Cara Delevinge and all. i love drawing. i love to draw portraits and nose bleed.i love making videos.i want to be a fashion designer AND a film maker SO SO BAD. and i believe that i’m really going to do it. thats what the line :Dont tell me our youth is running out,its only just begun.” is for. i will make it someday.
So,i need to focus on where i want my fashion ambition to go.i need to practice on my drawing more.and be good at it.
look,the only reason i’m mad at this drawing thing is because of Charmaine olivious.okay i dont want to spell her name right because i dont want this to come out on google search somewhere whatever.
i’m so jealous of her because she’s so great and she’s dating sonny moore!!! crying crying i love sonny moore.so jealous of her.
so i must be better than where i am now.i must challenge myself.i must be good that nobody can fault me for anything.
and okay i’m listening to Kate Nash’s album My Best Friend Is You and its soooo good! okay whatevs. see i get distracted way too easily.
- as part of i cant wait to finish all of my competencies and deal with college and finish the diploma,and done the plkn shizz….I WANT TO OWN A HOUSE.
i know i know i know that its not as easy as typing the words,BUT i’m dead serious. i believe my mom would spport me about it.having an asset is okay.but i’m so fucking dead serious. i believe i can do this.
- being financially stable.
that means…JOB.ofcourse i want my fashion ambition to come true.but in order to get there,i need to start somewhere.i’m talking about permanent job.no part-time.no playtime.i’ve been thinking about the money that i need to pay for the house and other stuffs.so i’ve been aiming to work at places like bookstores or bookstores…or maybe bookstores.this is crazy but my dream is to work at bookstores.
dude.what is happening to me.everytime i sleep,i’ll dream,and everytime i dream,she’s in it.she’s in my dreams.yes,i’ve been thinking about her lately.probably way too much.
that these things start to happen? its so weird. how can she be in each of my dreams??? its all different types of dreams but she’s always in them.
i think this is totally lovestruck.
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